Don't wanna be in love
by Killerchainsaw
Summary: It's been two months since Yuzu and Mei started dating, and although all things seem to be going well for them, Mei isn't so sure their relationship will last. Having different feelings that are scaring her, and seeing signs of herself going back to how she used to be, she fears she'll soon end up hurting, and possibly losing the one she loves. (Rated M for Mature content.)


**Author's notes:**

 **I don't own Citrus, or any of its characters, no copyright is intended.  
**

 **This story is in first person all the way through and is written from Mei's point of veiw. ;)**

 _Italics - Means the person is thinking, just so you know_

 **Warning:** **This contains yuri pairings (girl x gi** **rl), as well as pseudo-incest. Don't like? Don't read, simple, otherwise enjoy.** **:)** **  
**

 **Warning: This contains lemon ;P **

**...**

 **Mei's P.O.V:**

Two months…when I think about it, it's not all that long, but it already feels like an eternity. It's only been two months, and I'm already having doubts, is that even possible? I always knew we would have problems, most we would probably be able to get past easily enough however some might just prove to be the end of us.

Fighting, auguring, coming out to our friends and family, they're all things that we'll have to deal with, and I believe we can get through it all without too much trouble. That's not what is worrying me right now, instead it's something much more dire…I'm afraid I just might be reverting back to my old ways.

I'm sitting at the dining table, watching Yuzu wash the dishes in the sink, seeing those bright blonde locks bouncing in a childish, yet elegant way as she's humming a soft tune of some random song I've heard plenty of times by now. In fact I could probably hum the whole thing along with her, but I'm not one for such things.

Normally I'm not one to worry like this, Yuzu does enough of that with our relationship, however I just don't feel the same as I did not too long ago, and that's making me uneasy. I love Yuzu, no doubts about that, but something's different…

I know all too well how she feels about me, after all she's told me countless times, however I fear my feelings aren't the same as her's anymore. It doesn't feel like it's just love, it's something much more like how I used to feel about her, only this time I actually care about what happens to her. I want to protect that bright smile of her's, it warms my heart every time I see it, but I fear that if I'm not careful, I could cause it to disappear.

I've changed since I met Yuzu, but does that really matter? Before meeting her I was horrible to say the least, I was selfish and broken inside, I thought since no one seemed to care about me, I wouldn't care for them either, but then this cute, humming idiot walked into my life, and changed me in ways I never could have ever imagined.

I love her alright…but I also lust after her like crazy.

"Hey Mei, you okay?"

"Huh?"

That gentle voice dragged me out of my thoughts, making me realize that I had been staring at Yuzu for much longer than I should have really.

"I'm fine Yuzu," I answered, while quickly shaking my head a little, and biting back a blush that I would never dare show her willingly.

"You sure? You seemed a little out of it just then?"

I can't show her my face right now, as I hear her asking me more questions, all I can do is look down at the table like there's something wrong with my neck. If I look at her deep emerald eyes, they might just draw me in, and when that happens, I might not be able to hold myself back.

"I was just thinking as all," I shrugged my shoulders, before I decided to change the subject, and stop myself from losing my composure. "Do you know if Mother is coming home soon?"

"Oh yeah, she called me earlier and I forgot to tell you that she's staying late tonight, covering for someone I think," Her tone is off, she's lying.

"You didn't forget, you just didn't want to tell me right?" I'm looking at her now, but only in her direction, I wouldn't dare actually look right at her in the situation I'm in at the moment.

"I was going to tell you…just not yet," She's talking in a nervous tone? I can tell she's blushing right now even without looking at her.

"You were going to tell me once you were able to coax me into bed, waiting until I would deny you of anything since our Mother was home and would be able to hear us, trying to act like you're the one leading, when you've failed almost every other time," another one of her classic tricks, which I can never help but roll my eyes at, I guess I've gotten more than used to them by now.

"THAT'S…not true at all,"

Trying to defend herself again? I've heard it all too often.

"Yuzu, I've known you long enough by now, I know every one of your annoying little games," I should by now, what with all the times she's tried playing them on me.

"Well then maybe you should take matters into your own hands, and punish me for trying to pull the wool over your eyes?" Surprisingly quick recovery I see.

Dammit stop trying to entice me, or I really will wind up doing something I'll regret.

I sighed slightly as I stood from my chair, and turned away from Yuzu,

"You should probably get those dishes finished, I'm going to bed," I stated coldly before making a swift escape for the bedroom, glad I could get away before letting things get out of hand. Yuzu will probably be upset with me now no doubt, but that's fine with me, after all I've done worse things to her then simply tell her, 'No'.

It's not like I'm scared to have sex with her, we've slept together a number of times before now, but this time…I just might hurt her, which is something I really want to refrain from doing.

….

Damn Yuzu, why have you always got to get me into these kinds of situations? I don't like to admit it, but somehow she can always talk me into these things, and we ended up doing it again anyway.

All I can hear right now is her soft pants of pleasure, while my heart is currently beating faster than I would ever like to admit to her. Looking down to her as one of my hands is tightly holding onto her's, and the other is already between her thighs, while she's gazing back up at me with small tears in her eyes.

I know those tears aren't there because she's upset, but I have to hold myself back at best as I can, otherwise they just might turn into that. I can never relax when I'm like this with her, even the first time we did it, I was afraid I was being too forceful, and it's only gotten worse from there.

Her untidy, golden hair, her half naked body, her soaked skin, her heavy breaths, everything about her is currently drawing me in, deeper and deeper, _'I…I want to make her scream.'_

Forcing my fingers deeper inside her, causing her to squirm and let out a loud moan in response. I sigh deeply, as I let her catch her breath for a moment. I shouldn't be thinking about things like that, she's no doubt already noticed someone off about me by now.

"You're being rougher than normal, is something the matter?" Yuzu asked as she looked to me with a reassuring expression, I knew she'd catch me out, she always does.

"Nothing's the matter," I simply answered, before I leaned down, taking her by surprise as I lapped up her overflowing juices and sucked on her stiff clit, honestly she acts all innocent when really she's more lewd then I am sometimes. At this point I guess it's impossible for me to not lust after her, I only wish I didn't have to hold back whenever we do this.

Removing my soaked fingers slowly, I closed my eyes and sucked on her drenched slit, feeling her squirm against me in return, while I could hear soft moans escaping her lips.

"Mei…don't do that so suddenly,"

I look back to her, and sigh while I gaze upon her trembling form, stopping for a moment as I swallow loudly, and take in the breath-taking sight before me.

' _I…I want to violate her more.'_

I softly rest my free hand over her cheek, before locking our lips into a kiss, and slipping my tongue in when I felt her melt against me.

' _I want her to do the same to me.'_

But Yuzu would never go through with something like that, she's too gentle, too kind. I could never imagine her hurting me, while I've already caused her so much pain in the past.

Our lips parted as I avoided her eyes, while running a hand through her long dyed hair, combing my fingers through it, as I can feel her lightly stroke my cheek with the back of her free hand.

"Not going to tell me huh?" she smiled slightly, while I closed my eyes and nuzzled into her touch more,

' _Why does she always have to be so caring? Would she still be the same if I actually told her what was bothering me? Probably not,'_

Hearing her sigh slightly to me, I feel her let go of my hand, and rest them both on my cheeks, smiling to me while she pecked my forehead lightly,

"Well then I guess I'm going to have to turn the tables on you,"

I couldn't really react in any sort of way, before I was flipped and pinned down by Yuzu, feeling her hand running down my bare stomach and making its way to my covered privates, causing my body to shiver a little while I wasn't expecting her to catch me off guard like that. It's not the first time she's done this, but it seems that I can't really get used to it, I always end up blushing madly whenever Yuzu chooses to take control, and this time is no different.

"This is punishment for going all cold on me earlier,"

I can feel heat rising in my cheeks as I can feel her slowly remove my underwear, and use two of her fingers to gently tease my already dripping slit. I can feel her fingers slowly starting to stir me up, causing me to shiver and tremble all over,

' _I didn't realize just how wet I was down there until now,'_

"You know it's not really a punishment, if you're always so tender about things," I pointed out as her touches were slow and soft, just like they always are, she can never be rough with me, she loves to savour every little light stroke, till I can take it no more. I swear she teases me like this on purpose.

"I guess not, but I know what really turns you on, Mei," She smirked to me seductively, before she leaned down and I could soon feel her stimulating my soaked slit with her tongue, causing me to lay my head back on the pillow, while I could feel my whole face turning red, and couldn't help but let a few small whimpers leave my lips.

"Ahh…Yuzu…"

Grabbing onto the bedsheets tightly, as I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, and my breathing turning into slight pants, while I gazed into those emerald orbs, staring back at me intensely.

' _Sometimes I wish she wasn't so gentle with me, after all I don't deserve her to be this tender towards me, all I ever used to do was cause her sorrow and suffering. I know I've changed since then, but still I can feel something different, I don't want to hurt her in any kind of way, I just want to make her mine, and mine alone.'_

I sighed heavily, moaning between slight pants, as I draped one arm over my eyes, hiding my expression from Yuzu, _'What am I thinking? After all it's not like Yuzu belongs to me'_ I thought as I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, whether they were from pleasure or pain…I had no idea.

My eyes widened as I heard a slight whisper come from Yuzu, causing me to lift my arm, and glance to her smiling face,

"I love you Mei,"

I didn't reply, because that's another thing, I never can say those three little words back to her, no matter how hard I may try, _'So why is it so easy for her to say them?'_

….

The next day I wanted nothing more than to be away from Yuzu, I'm not too sure what it is, but my switch just never seemed to shut itself off. Us having sex last night left me wanting more, and that meant I couldn't relax around her at all, and so I just chose to avoid her as best as I could on a day off from school.

I got up earlier than her, ate my breakfast and cleaned away my dishes while she was still sleeping, waited around a little until she woke up, and came out of our bedroom. She greeted me 'Good morning' but all I did in return was push past her and shut the door behind me, hiding myself away in our bedroom, while telling her I was doing paperwork, and didn't want to be interrupted for anything, to which she simply nodded to and left me alone.

She probably didn't want to make me angry so she agreed to leave me be, but I could see she knew I was hiding something. I'm a better liar than she is, but she can pretty much always point out when I may not be telling her the whole story.

However I was able to escape and have at least some time away from her, as I sat at the desk in our bedroom, having completed papers all around me, making it look like I was busy if Yuzu happened to peek her head around the door to see if I was finished with my work yet.

At one point I finally gave up my act, sighing heavily as I rested my head on the desk, and outstretched my arms with a slight groan, before I lifted my head up slightly and looked to my left hand, looking to the ring that Yuzu had given me when we had only just started dating. It seems a lot longer than just two months since she gave it to me.

Could we really get married, and wind up spending the rest of our lives together? We still haven't told anyone about our relationship, it's still a secret so how long will that last for? Telling people won't be easy since we're sisters, and I doubt many people would understand, but that might not matter anyway, with the way things are going now, I fear we just might break up, I can't bear to be around Yuzu anymore without the feeling of desire and want constantly hanging over my head.

I used to lust after her like this when we first met, she bugged me, and annoyed me to no end. No matter what I did to her, she never stopped trying to help me, and because of that I used her as a sort of comfort. I wasn't always in love with her, but now that I am, I don't want to hurt her like I did back then, though I fear I just might do so, whether it will be intentional or not, I get the feeling that someday I'll end up losing her for it.

"Looks like you're hard at work,"

I jumped a little at the sound of Yuzu's voice, I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I didn't even hear her come into the room. I sat up straight and turned to Yuzu a little, she had a somewhat concerned look on her face that showed she clearly knew something was wrong with me, no matter how hard I might try to hide it from her.

"I'm taking a break, I'm a little tired after last night," I lied again, I was tired, but that wasn't the reason for my poor mood.

"I'm not surprised,"

I heard that cute chuckle of her's and couldn't help but turn away from her. I want to tell her what's bothering me, but if I do tell her, I'm afraid to hear what her answer will be.

"Hey Mei, is there something wrong?"

"No I'm fine," I simply shook my head, turning my back to Yuzu and pretended to start working again, hoping that she would pick up on my gesture for her to leave.

"Come one Mei, I can tell when there's something bothering you,"

She picked up on my gesture, but she chose to go against it, why is she always so stubborn?

"Mei I-

"I SAID I'M FINE!"

I snapped, and surprised her, this is bad, don't look at me with those worry filled eyes Yuzu. I need to get away from her,

"I'm going to take a shower," I stated as I stood and walked away from Yuzu.

"Wait Mei-

"Don't follow me!" I said sternly, before I left the bedroom, and made my way to the bathroom, hoping that Yuzu would at least do as I said and not come running after me like she always has done before now.

….

Once I was in the bathroom I quickly undressed, and turned on the cold tap, standing under the shower head while cold water rained down on my tense body. It was freezing, but I didn't mind, maybe it would cool me down a little I thought, as I lifted my head and stared up at the showerhead, closing my eyes, while I combed my hands through my long black hair, the only thing on my mind was Yuzu.

My eyes snapped open again as I heard the door being opened and I quickly turned round to see Yuzu standing there in the doorway, as she closed the door behind her, and stripped off all her clothing right in front of me, before she got into the shower with me and gave me a stern stare.

"I thought I told you not to follow me,"

She could tell I was angry, but she wasn't backing off like she normally does. She stepped closer to me, which caused me to take a few steps back away from her, she did it again, causing me to now step back until I came into contact with the wall.

"Yuzu stop…I…" I paused as I couldn't find the will to try and get away from her anymore, she had me literally backed into a corner, with no hope of escape from her.

Yuzu placed her hands either side of me, stopping me if I decided to make a run for it, as she stared to me and didn't let me avoid her eyes this time, while the only place I could look at was her.

"Mei, you've been avoiding me all day, and I want to know why. I can clearly see that there's something upsetting you, so I'm not leaving until you tell me what it is!" Yuzu explained to me in a serious tone, making it clear that she wasn't going to let me escape her this time.

I went silent for a moment, as I could feel my heart pounding loudly, and my cheeks filled with heat. Desire building up in my core, it was no use, I was going to lose myself.

"I…can't…" was all I could manage to whisper out, before I felt Yuzu rest a hand over my cheek, making me look into her eyes, while she smiled to me calmly.

"Yes you can Mei, you can tell me anything, I love you,"

' _Don't look at me with those kind eyes, don't give me that bright, reassuring smile, I don't deserve any of it, stop torturing me already!'_

I can't hold back any longer, she's pushed me to my limit, I can't fight it anymore…I-I'm sorry for this Yuzu…please forgive me.

Before I knew what I was doing, or could even have the chance of stopping myself, I grabbed Yuzu by her shoulders, turning and throwing her against the bathroom wall, while I grabbed tightly onto her wrists, and held them in one hand, pinning them up above her head, as she whimpered slightly from being thrown so roughly.

"M-Mei what are you-

I cut her off with a deep kiss, my tongue breaking through her teeth with ease, as she moaned against me, and squirmed to try and get away from my tight grasp. But I wasn't going to let her, as I pinned her up against the wall more, leaning into her, before I broke our kiss, and bit down on her bottom lip hard.

"Mei…why…stop this, please…" Yuzu pleaded in-between heavy pants as she desperately tried to get her breath back.

"I'm sorry Yuzu, I can't stop," I whispered, licking her neck and marking her, before I let go of her wrists and kneeled down on the bathroom floor, resting my hands on her thighs, while I looked to her already wet slit.

"W-wait…we can't do this here, Mom is still at home, she'll hear us," She was blushing, and her voice had a nervous tone to it now,

' _She's cute,'_

"Then keep yourself quiet," I simply stated, before I smiled upon the sight of her aroused privates in front of me, and immediately started licking her, stopping to suck on her clit every now and again, as I wanted to make her cum as quickly as possible.

"M-Mei…d-don't…mmm…"

All Yuzu's protests were meaningless, as all they did was urge me on even more than before,

' _I want to hear her beg for me to stop,'_

I glanced up to her as I could hear her moans being muffled, and saw that she was currently covering her mouth with one of her hands, tears were filling her eyes, and she was trembling all over.

"M-Mei…I-I can't stand…my legs are going to give out…"

I didn't reply, instead I just closed my eyes and thrusted my tongue deep inside her, feeling her rest a hand on top of my head, clenching my hair in her fist, while I could hear her moans being muffled again.

I could soon feel her hips buckling against me, while she couldn't help but thrust in response to my advances. I knew what was happening, she was close, and so I doubled my efforts, causing her to arch her back, and roll her hips against my deep thrusts.

Hearing her give out a loud muffled moan of release, as I looked up to her and watched her reactions, while I made her ride out her intense orgasm, not stopping until I could see signs of her beginning to calm down.

I lapped up all her juices, licking her clean, while she squirmed against me, then I sat back on my knees, and swallowed all I had taken from 'my adorable Yuzu', raising two fingers up to my lips, before I looked up to her again.

Yuzu stood panting heavily, barely able to stay on her feet, as she shook all over, looking down to me as her whole face was red, and tears had streamed down her cheeks.

"M-Mei…" was all she could whisper out, before she collapsed onto the floor, and struggled to get her breathing back to normal, sitting against the wall, while I looked to her realising what I had just done, and regretting it instantly.

I had lost control, I hurt her, I made her cry, just like I had done so many times before in the past, I hadn't changed at all, I was still the same selfish, terrible person I was back then. The only thing different now was I loved her, I really loved her.

"I…I love Yuzu…" I whispered out.

"Mei…what did you just say?"

I lifted my head and looked at Yuzu, staring into her bright emerald eyes, as I repeated myself,

"I love you Yuzu, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you so much! I love you more than words could ever say!" I cried in a raised voice, while tears welled up in my eyes, and ran down my cheeks.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, I love you too Mei,"

I could hear Yuzu's calming voice as she embraced me tightly, and held me close to her chest, letting me cry into her shoulder, while she rubbed my back in a comforting manner, sitting with me on the bathroom tiled floor, while the cold water rained down on us both.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked as I slowly started to calm down, still sobbing slightly into her shoulder.

"A little, but I think you only bruised my back, it'll heal soon," Yuzu reassured me as she kissed my forehead, and cradled me like a mother would do to their crying child.

"Are you going to tell me what's been on your mind lately now?"

I nodded in response, as I sniffled and wiped my eyes, Yuzu letting me sit in her embrace for a little longer, before we moved to get dried, dressed, and quickly ate our dinner with Mother, before heading off to bed together.

….

It was only turning into late evening by now, Yuzu and I don't really go to bed this early normally, however I knew she wanted answers for my actions, and I had avoided and stalled her long enough. Plus I told her I would tell her, so it wouldn't be right for me to go back on my word right now.

Yuzu sat up in our shared bed, smiling to me as she was obviously waiting for me to come and join her. I looked to her, but avoided her eyes again, as I stood in my pyjamas, feeling ashamed of myself, for what I had done to her only a couple of hours ago.

' _Does she want me to apologize to her for forcing her to submit to me? She probably hates me for acting so cruel towards her again,'_

"Mei, sit down," Yuzu instructed to me, as I nodded to her, and sat down beside her on the bed, I looked to her, but I couldn't read her expression, I knew she wasn't angry at me, but then I really doubt she was all that happy with me either.

"You know I'm not mad at you right?"

I nodded in reply, feeling scared to look at her now, I didn't want to lose her, but I feared I might have just ruined everything we had. I did something I shouldn't have, I forced Yuzu into sex, and didn't stop when she told me to, how could I ever face her again after treating her so horribly?

"Mei look at me,"

I stalled for a little, refusing to do as I was told, my heart ached as I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I could deal with a lot of things, but losing Yuzu? That no doubt was going to be the worst thing to ever happen to me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to get past it easily.

"Mei, why won't you look at me, you can't avoid me for…" Yuzu paused as she had grabbed my chin, and made me look to her, however immediately let go, and apologized when she saw tears streaming down my face, along with slight sobs escaping my lips.

"D-do you hate me now Yuzu?" I spoke between small whimpers, not bothering to wipe my tears away, as I clenched my teeth, and wanted to leave in order to compose myself, but I knew Yuzu wasn't going to let me do that.

"What? Of course not, I could never hate you Mei,"

My eyes widened a little as Yuzu moved closer to me and wrapped me into a warm embrace, holding me tightly, while she stroked my long hair and soothed my cries.

"You really can be quite the confusing girl sometimes Mei. You're dominant and overbearing one minute, then quiet and vulnerable the next, not to mention the fact that I can never guess what's going on in that pretty, little head of your's, and I'm supposed to be your girlfriend," Yuzu explained as she wiped away my tears and all I could do in response was grab onto her nightshirt, while still sniffling slightly.

It's true that Yuzu can't read my mind, but she knows me better than anyone, and can always tell how I'm feeling somehow, and yet she still thinks she barely knows me?

"Mei I'm not mad at you, but I just might get annoyed if you don't tell me what's making you so upset. I hate seeing you cry like this, and I don't want you hiding things from me, so will you tell me what's been on your mind lately like you said you would in the bathroom?"

I nodded in answer to Yuzu's question, having no intention of keeping this to myself any longer, after all it wasn't like things were going to get any better if I kept my mouth shut, that would only worsen things at this point.

"That's a good girl," Yuzu whispered as I felt her cradle my head, and kiss my forehead lightly, continuing to hold me close, while she waited for me to finally come clean to her about everything.

I sighed deeply as I wiped my eyes, and calmed myself down, still holding tightly onto Yuzu's nightshirt with one clenched fist.

"It wasn't too long ago that this started, maybe only about a week ago I think, something just wasn't the same anymore, and I felt different about you, about us," I started to explain to Yuzu, hoping that I wouldn't make things any worse than they already were.

"What do you mean?"

"Yuzu, I fear that I've reverted back to my old ways. I keep pushing you away, when all you're trying to do is be there for me, I'm losing my temper and snapping at you for no reason, and I'm even using you as a means of comfort, as well as a way to get my frustrations out. Only now it's different, I don't want to hurt you, and I'm scared I'll ruin everything we've got, and you'll…leave me,"

I turned away from Yuzu, as I hugged my knees to my chest, looking off into space as I thought about what my life just might be like without her in it. I couldn't imagine it.

"I thought I had changed, but it turns out that I'm still the same person I was before. If I wasn't in love with you now it wouldn't be so much of a problem for me, but…I guess I can't really change what my heart has already chosen for me," I sighed, resting my head on my knees, biting back the tears I felt welling up in my eyes again. There was a short silence, guessing Yuzu didn't know how to reply to me I broke the quiet before she could.

"Being together with you, and having sex with you just isn't enough it seems, I keep wanting more, and I'm always holding myself back now, I want to touch you more and more, until you beg me to stop, and I want you to do the same to me. I shouldn't be feeling things like this, just how selfish can I be right?" I smiled in a saddened way, looking back to Yuzu, and feeling a little taken aback when all that was on her face was a blank stare directed right at me.

' _Just how long has she been looking at me like that for?'_

"So that's it? I must admit it's true that I haven't seen you act as forceful as you did in the bathroom towards me since before we started dating,"

Her stare softened as she smiled, and spoke in a calm voice, which was something I really wasn't expecting from her after all I had just said to her.

"But that isn't necessarily a bad thing you know,"

"Huh?" I was more than surprised to hear something like that from her, just how was she fine with all this?

"What I mean by saying that is, it's okay to let yourself be a little selfish,"

"But Yuzu I wanted to make you mine, and mine alone, and I shouldn't be thinking about things like that, it's not right of me,"

"Mei, you wouldn't need to do that anyway, since I'm already your's," Yuzu smiled to me in a caring way.

' _What was she saying? There's no way that what's she's telling me could be true, could it?'_

"I think I get it now Mei, you've been letting all your worries and fears over the fact that you just might hurt me, which could cause me to break up with you, so much so that your emotions have all built up, and are scaring you. When in reality, you don't have to be so worried really, since there's no way you could hurt me, even if you tried, and you shouldn't be getting yourself all worked up over something that will most likely never happen. After all there's no way I could be without you Mei, so why would I ever leave you?"

I looked to Yuzu with a stunned expression, as I couldn't think of anything to say back to her,

' _How does she always know how to say all the right things that I need to hear?'_

"And you have changed since back then, after all you wouldn't have told me all this if you hadn't. Instead you would have just bottled it up inside yourself like you used to, never letting me in like you are right now,"

Sitting there speechless, while my mind was currently going blank, and my heart was racing in my chest. I could feel tears filling my eyes again, but this time for a completely different reason.

"I love you with all my heart Mei, and trust me, it's going to take a whole lot more than you just being more dominant than usual in order for me to even think about leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon," Yuzu reassured me with her bright smile, and a wink, resting a hand on top of my head, and patting me like a she would a puppy.

I couldn't hide my happiness any longer, I thought for sure I had ruined our relationship, and we could never go back to the way we were before after this, but like she's done before, Yuzu proved me wrong, and I'm so glad that she did so.

"Yuzu!" I cried happily, as I wrapped my arms around her neck, and jumped into her embrace, causing her to fall back on the bed, while I held her tightly, not ever wanting to let her go.

"Woah, Mei?" Yuzu questioned as she looked to me, taken aback at me suddenly hugging her like that. I'm never normally that willing to let her see how I'm really feeling, however I just felt so relieved I couldn't help but smile down to her, while her confused expression turned into more of a content one, as a smile formed on her lips.

"There's that smile that I always long to see," she stated as I felt her hand caress my cheek, while I let my blissful tears fall, and nuzzled into her touch more, before I rested my head on her chest and couldn't think of a better place to be right now, then in her arms.

"Well you're the only one that I show it too after all," I whispered into her nightshirt, knowing full well that she heard me.

Staying laying like that for a little while, as I held onto her, and she combed her fingers through my hair slowly and softly, snuggling up closer to me, while I traced small circles along her clothed stomach, causing her to chuckle slightly at the tickling feeling.

"So the next time we have sex, it's okay if I'm rough with you?" I asked, sitting up while I still smiled down to Yuzu.

"You can be as rough as you like Mei, and you don't have to hold yourself back either," Yuzu answered with a wink up to me, causing a slight blush to cover my cheeks, me not minding that she could clearly see it.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you earlier," My smile faded as I thought back on how I could have maybe held myself together a little better back then, but maybe if I hadn't lost control, perhaps I wouldn't have told her what was bothering me, and I might just have still been hiding it all from her as best as I could.

"It's fine, I didn't mind it all that much really, in fact you looking to me with those lustful eyes, while you were doing such lewd things to me was hotter than anything I've ever seen before. Plus it really is impossible to not get turned on like crazy with you acting like a hungry sexy beast, 'going down' on their precious prey,"

I rolled my eyes at Yuzu, shaking my head slightly when I saw her emerald eyes looking up to me in an alluring way. Shrugging my shoulders as I decided to play along with her little game.

"Oh really, well then maybe I should do those kind of things to you more often?"

I licked my lips, looking down to her seductively, before I grabbed hold of each of her wrists and pinned her hands down either side of her on the bed.

"I wouldn't stop you," Yuzu stated as a blush covered her cheeks, and not hiding the fact that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

But we couldn't do it tonight, we'd be too loud, and our Mother would definitely hear us, so for now we were just fooling around, yet promising that we wouldn't be 'playing it easy' the next time we were home alone together for the night.

I slowly leaned down to Yuzu, kissing her lips, while I moved my hands to lock with her's, smiling into the kiss when I felt our fingers intertwine, before I broke the kiss, and stopped myself from advancing for a moment.

Pecking Yuzu lightly on her forehead as I smiled to her again, feeling my heartrate soar when she smiled back,

"I love you Yuzu,"

"I love you too, Mei," Yuzu replied to me as she gave my hands a tight squeeze, before we both leaned in for another tender kiss.

I realize now that I never should have been so worried, after all neither one of us could imagine life without the other, so how could I have pictured such a thing happening to us, when really it was just my own fears and thoughts getting the better of me? Oh well, I guess I couldn't be more glad for Yuzu digging deep, and pulling me out of that dark hole I had thrown myself into, just like she always has done since the day I met her.

' _Never change, my adorable Yuzu,'_

 **...**

 **I know I said I would write more, but College really has been on my mind more than usual lately, and so I have been unable to write. But now that College is ending soon for Christmas means that I will finally have a break, and can write lots more, which I plan to definitely do! ^_^**

 **Killerchainsaw ;)**


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